Preamble/Pre-ramble on "Lawn King"

[fivecats]

Glad
July 2005 Raleigh, NC
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Bonn loves gladiolas.  A few years ago we found bags of gladiola bulbs at our local Dollar Store and I bought all of them.  We have some in a small patch of garden in the front and some in a flower box that I built out back.  They provide Bonn with her favorite flowers for weeks at a time during the summer and anything that brings a smile to her face is okay in my book.

Yesterday she decided we needed to do one of my least favorite summertime activities: yardwork.  Mowing the front yard, trimming the hedges (okay, so, yes, they had reached the roofline and, yes, they probably should be cut down some so we can get some light in from the living room windows), weed whacking errant grasses and weeds...

As with most mindless, testosterone-induced male competitive and advertiser-driven truly American concepts, we in the US have a large number of Lawn Kings.  (Sadly, there's no wikipedia entry for Lawn King.  Methinks this should be remedied with a separate Americana entry)  These are men who, for whatever physical or psychological deficiency, choose to put much of their time, effort and energy into making their front lawns The Envy of All in Their Neighborhood.

When I was growing up our family had friends who lived in Iran for a number of years back during the Shah's time.  When their young daughters came to America for the first time they were amazed to see so much grass.  They were even more amazed that people were able to walk on and play in the grass.  This was unheard of in a country whose climate is not condusive to growing grass.

The US, however has all sorts of grass.  Tons of it.  Grows like weeds around here.

As such the "Lawn King" concept has always escaped me.

Hmmm...  Where was I?

Oh, yes.  Cutting the grass.  I did the front and back yards, was completely drenched in sweat, took a shower and a nap and was completely physically spent for the rest of the day.

(That took an awfully long time to get to, didn't it?  Sorry 'bout that)

And two Quick Questions for those not in the US:

1.  Do you have Your Smallest Paper Currency Denomination Here Stores?

2.  Do you have a similar phrase/concept for Lawn Kings?

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Comments

[yes-rhade.livejournal.com]

Doing outside work is dangerous to your health. After finding numerous ticks on all of us, we haven't done yard work for a while. Poor Little Bud wins the award. I think we've found over 10 ticks on him.

Heh, any excuse to not do yard work. Another of my favorites is that nature has her own plan for my yard, why should I change it.

[fivecats.livejournal.com]

I actually self-edited out a paragraph about my friend The Handler. When he lived in Florida the Neighborhood Nazis were all Lawn Fascists, insisting that lawns be kept cut on a weekly basis.

One day he made signs and posted them in his yard that read "State Unspoiled Lawn Research Project".

And you know, it worked!

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[new-brunette.livejournal.com]

1. Sort of. Our smallest paper-currency denomination is the £5 note. The £1 note was replaced with a coin over 20 years ago. But we do have pound shops, which are the same thing.

2. Nope - what an interesting concept!

[fivecats.livejournal.com]

Pound Shops. Hmmm... So I guess the concept isn't so uniquely American. (Given the state of the world's economy, I guess is isn't so surprising)

"Interesting concept" is pushing it a bit far, I'm afraid. :-)

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[velvetslide.livejournal.com]

1. no idea what that is?

2. The Victa. although recently being superseded by various overseas varieties, ride on mowers and chain saws from sweden & other northern places.

My lawn needs mowing. I try to mow it as little as possible just to annoy the neighbours. They mow every week - usually at some ungodly hour,& their dog leaves "present's on our lawn" so I feel justified.

[fivecats.livejournal.com]

"Dollar Stores" are places where everything for sale is sold at $1.00. (Or, in some cases, two for $1.00) They're the updated version of the "Five and Dime" stores where everything was sold for either 5 cents or 10 cents.

What, exactly, is a Victa?

We have Riding Mower races over here. Somewhere.

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[velvetslide.livejournal.com]

oh the $dollar stores...they are now $2 stores here! hehe I was
thinking along the lines
of money exchanges...

"The Victa turns grass into lawn"
http://www.victa.com.au/

I think at Showtime there are mower/tractor races here too, but never been to one {yet}.

[basefinder.livejournal.com]

We have a few Lawn Kings in our neigborhood, though I am happy to take my place among the Lawn Peasants.

For many years, we've paid to have a lawn service cut our grass. I used to do it myself, but it aggravated my allergies so much it just wasn't worth it.

But I sure as heck don't have hours to spend on lawn maintenance and landscaping. I have other hobbies and interests. But I respect those who find satisfaction from tending their grass crop -- to each his own.

[smileyfish.livejournal.com]

1. Yeah, but no. We have $2 shops, which is actually a coin. Our smallest note is the $5. $1 and $2 notes were phased out in the 80's sometime.

2. Probably, but I tent to remain ignorant about such things. I garden, somewhat sporadically, but tend to let the garden live in harmony with the weeds most of the year. Here it's the elderly that tend to cultivate perfect lawns, but I suppose everyone needs a hobby. Maybe real suburbia is different though... I mean, someone must be buying all thosew leaf blowers...

[pilote.livejournal.com]

My favorite lawn king song is from Thomas Pynchon. You sing it to the Marsellaise, the French national anthem.

"A lawn savant who'll lop a treeee-uh
Nobody beats Mar.. qui de Sod."

And those are purty pitchers pardner. Sorry I don't post more and share the love.

[drood.livejournal.com]

1. Too many.

2. "The bastard in the white house down the street."