Preamble/Pre-ramble on "Lawn King"

[fivecats]

Glad
July 2005 Raleigh, NC
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Bonn loves gladiolas.  A few years ago we found bags of gladiola bulbs at our local Dollar Store and I bought all of them.  We have some in a small patch of garden in the front and some in a flower box that I built out back.  They provide Bonn with her favorite flowers for weeks at a time during the summer and anything that brings a smile to her face is okay in my book.

Yesterday she decided we needed to do one of my least favorite summertime activities: yardwork.  Mowing the front yard, trimming the hedges (okay, so, yes, they had reached the roofline and, yes, they probably should be cut down some so we can get some light in from the living room windows), weed whacking errant grasses and weeds...

As with most mindless, testosterone-induced male competitive and advertiser-driven truly American concepts, we in the US have a large number of Lawn Kings.  (Sadly, there's no wikipedia entry for Lawn King.  Methinks this should be remedied with a separate Americana entry)  These are men who, for whatever physical or psychological deficiency, choose to put much of their time, effort and energy into making their front lawns The Envy of All in Their Neighborhood.

When I was growing up our family had friends who lived in Iran for a number of years back during the Shah's time.  When their young daughters came to America for the first time they were amazed to see so much grass.  They were even more amazed that people were able to walk on and play in the grass.  This was unheard of in a country whose climate is not condusive to growing grass.

The US, however has all sorts of grass.  Tons of it.  Grows like weeds around here.

As such the "Lawn King" concept has always escaped me.

Hmmm...  Where was I?

Oh, yes.  Cutting the grass.  I did the front and back yards, was completely drenched in sweat, took a shower and a nap and was completely physically spent for the rest of the day.

(That took an awfully long time to get to, didn't it?  Sorry 'bout that)

And two Quick Questions for those not in the US:

1.  Do you have Your Smallest Paper Currency Denomination Here Stores?

2.  Do you have a similar phrase/concept for Lawn Kings?

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Comments

[yes-rhade.livejournal.com]

Doing outside work is dangerous to your health. After finding numerous ticks on all of us, we haven't done yard work for a while. Poor Little Bud wins the award. I think we've found over 10 ticks on him.

Heh, any excuse to not do yard work. Another of my favorites is that nature has her own plan for my yard, why should I change it.

[fivecats.livejournal.com]

I actually self-edited out a paragraph about my friend The Handler. When he lived in Florida the Neighborhood Nazis were all Lawn Fascists, insisting that lawns be kept cut on a weekly basis.

One day he made signs and posted them in his yard that read "State Unspoiled Lawn Research Project".

And you know, it worked!

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