fivecats journal

Maddy-O-Line II and The Gardener
August 2005 Raleigh, NC
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When I was a kid I knew my family: my parents, my brother, grandparents, uncle, aunt and cousins. I also knew a close friend of the family who was over at our house for dinner so often that my brother and I referred to him as "Uncle Don."

It was my first introduction to the concept of having the family you're related to on the one hand, and those people that you choose to make a family with on the other.

When we first moved to Raleighwood, back in 1991, one of the first people we met was a fast-talking, "Nice-to-meet-you-hope-I-can-count-on-your-vote-in-the-upcoming-elections" kind of guy at the nearby church we were attending. Less than a year (and several long stories) later he had become The Boy's Godfather and was brought into the family of choice.

While people have been occasionally added to that Family of Choice, there have only been two people in recent memory who we've met who have seemed to have been people we'd known for years and we were just remembering it. The first was LeslieCaron, a woman The Godfather introduced us to one night after deciding he was pretty serious about her. We spent a great evening with the three of us telling increasingly more and more embarrassing stories about The Godfather, to the point where his usually tough exterior cracked a bit and he genuinely felt picked on. (Well, yeah)

The last embarrassing story I told about him was actually told about both of them at their wedding rehearsal dinner. Since then, I've been pretty good.

The second person who fit that description was The Gardener. I couldn't tell you exactly what it is that struck me so deeply about him, but he was simply someone my soul reached out to and told me was family.

In fact, the first time I met him and had a chance to talk to him, was at The Godfather and LeslieCaron's wedding. It was held in his extensive backyard, amid all of the flowers and the bushes that he's tended for so many years. I hugged him, reminding him that because his daughter had married our son's godfather, that meant he was now family, too. He liked that, being immediately called family by someone who obviously meant it and wanted him as family, too.

So the reason for the ain't-no-art-in-that-snapshot image today is two-fold. Firstly, it's the first time I've seen The Gardener since shortly after losing my job last year. He appreciated seeing me as much as I appreciated seeing him. And, after telling him I'm now working fairly close to his house, we've agreed to get together for lunch on a regular basis. This is a good thing.

Second reason is the tiny munchkin in her Grandfather's lap: The Godfather and LeslieCaron's 4 month old child, Madeline.

Last night was also my first time meeting the newest member of our Chosen Family. Now, normally I'm about as comfortable picking up a baby as I am with a small thermo-nuclear device. And while I've gotten slightly better over the years, it's like I told LeslieCaron last night, "I'm used to picking up cats. She isn't a cat." LeslieCaron and her mother were both relieved and happy that I knew the difference.

So, this little creature started studying me -- not staring, but studying. I told her who I was, that we'd be around for a long time with each other and she'd be okay. Remarkably, and most unlike most babies I've held, she didn't burst into wailing tears. Instead she collapsed against my chest and seemed quite content. Then, even more remarkably, she nuzzled my collarbone and the side of my neck.

And melted my heart. (Not that it was icy to begin with, but you know what I mean)

So, this one goes out to two of my favorite people, one an old favorite, the other, a new one. Hopefully you all will forgive the snapshot-ness of the image for a day.

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