Can't See the Forest for the Trees

Car Wash Trees
December 2004 Raleigh, NC
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New Years Day I was driving to the local Food World to pick up some things for dinner. Two blocks up the main road I saw a small cul-de-sac with parked cars blocking the enterance as well as a good 20 feet up and down the sidewalks. A police van was parked in front of the house to the left on the corner and there were a number of people standing about. Yellow and black striped police tape roped off the side yard of the house.

On the way back home I drove by more slowly. A police officer seemed to be giving a make-shift conference to a small group of reporters. A few neighbors were looking on.

Back home I did a quick online search of some of the local Raleighwood news outlets but found nothing.

The next day's newspaper came and had a story about a 15 year old girl who had been home alone on New Years Eve. A neighbor, a 19 year old boy who was known for walking the neighborhood dressed all in black with spikes on his shoulders and boots, had broken into the house, killed and sexually assaulted the girl.

After killing her, he went to a New Year's Eve party at another house in the cul-de-sac where he supposedly washed the blood from his hands and, later, played the piano and told jokes with friends.

New Years night I drove back to the local Food World for something else I'd forgotten. The woods across the street were outlined in police tape and I knew that the police had to be in there searching for the murder weapon. I was right. A knife, stuck in the ground, was found that night.

Last night's news had the tearful mother standing outside of a church with her two older sons. She was holding a plush toy, a bright pink pig, that her daughter "never slept without."

Not mentioned was the fact that it took police over 12 hours to locate the woman -- who was "out of town" for New Years and had left her child alone. Worse yet, it turned out that the mother claims that her daughter was supposed to have spent the night with a friend. What friend? Well, the mother only knew a first name, no last name, no address, no phone number. Why had the daughter changed her mind? No one knows.

Sunday's newspaper had reported that the girl's grandparents were driving in from Kentucky on New Year's Day to start making funeral arrangements since the mother could not be found.

I'm not so niave to think that this kind of violence would never happen in the quiet, mostly redneck 1960s neighborhood that we live in. Senseless violence happens everywhere -- which is part of what makes it all so senseless. That innocent young girls get killed by angry young men is also a sad but known fact.

What really gets me about this situation is that the mother was so casual about her daughter's life. Now, I've already publicly admitted that I'm not the world's best father, but when The Boy was staying anywhere, we sure knew where and with whom he was staying. And the first time we allowed him to stay at home by himself while we went off to a show and found out that he had a friend over to the house (after expressly telling him he couldn't)? We checked out of the hotel at 11:00pm and drove the 3 hours home and carted him along with us to the show the next day. Sure, part of it was punishment, but I didn't insist on doing that just to punish him. (Heck, I was the one who made the drive back at 11:00 at night and then drove the majority of the way back the next morning, making me feel like the one being punished) I insisted because there was a safety issue there. And if The Boy wasn't going to be responsible enough to watch out for his own safety, it was my job as a parent to do so for him.

None of this is going to bring that girl back. None of it is going to allow the killer to regain his life, nor allow his mother (whose footprint was believed to have been found at the scene of the crime. They think he went home first or spoke to her about it and she went to check and see what had happened) to regain her life.

The only thing we can do is take it and learn and hope to do better.

Give someone you care for and watch over an extra hug today and tell them you love them. It's a start.

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