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Dan's Backyard: Updated Stone Bench
June 2005 Chapel Thrill, NC
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Saturday was a long, busy day.

In the early afternoon we drove back up to Chapel Thrill to discuss some things with Dan. While Dan and his girlfriend and Bonn were discussing some jewelry modifications I made a quick run through the garden and took a series of images of some of the things I'd missed the first time through (like a pond in the middle of the back with a 6 foot stone fountain sticking up out of it), some different angles on things I'd photographed the first time through (including some extra shots of the sun mosaic) and at least one update. That would be the one above.

The Stone Bench (last seen just a few entries back) has -- if memory serves me correctly -- zoysia grass planted on it. It's apparently a comfortable, hearty grass that doesn't need much cutting and is good for sitting and walking on.

The rest of the afternoon and evening were taken up with The Boy.

My own theories on The Boy's Week Home go along these lines: Freed from the oppressive thoughts of daily survival (Where am I going to get a job? Where am I going to get money for rent? For food? For medical supplies?) his mind was free to obsess over something else. He settled on the The Perfect Amanda and how he Couldn't Get Her Out of His Mind. Add on top of that his own sense of failure at having to move back with his parents after a school-year's worth of being on his own and he was headed for a boil over.

(There are, of course, other extenuating circumstances. Those remain part of a story that's really not mine to tell, so I'll just leave it at that)

Luckily we've been through this before so we knew more-or-less how to deal with it when it happened. Once we were back home there was an attempt at talking, but The Boy wasn't happy with anything we had to say so he stormed out of the house and went up to the studio.

About 10 minutes later he came back in and said he wanted to go back to Wilmington. I'm not sure if he was surprised at us agreeing on the spot, but that's what we did. A few hours later he and I were in a car driving down I-40.

I had brought along two short books on CD with the thought that I'd be listening to one of them on the stony-silenced way down and then starting the other one on the way back. Instead, I made an initial attempt at talking to him just after we left and he surprised me by being very willing to talk. We spent almost the entire ride talking.

I attempted to guide him, through questions, to some of the underlying, more root issues behind some of his problems. I think he was able to see some of them. (I hope, at least) I then moved it towards some avenues for solutions. I tried to get him to see the necessity in doing some basic things (writing a list of Things I Want; a list of Things To Do; mapping out this week with Things To Do; where to look for jobs, etc.) and while he said he saw some sense in them, I don't know if he'll actually do them.

When we got down there he said he was hungry and asked me to stop off at a Burger World. Instead, I offered to take him (and what little money he had) to a grocery store. He appreciated the trip there and the ride back to his apartment with groceries for the week.

I have to say, it was one of our best Father-Son outings. Very strange, but very good.

He's called two or three times today, asking in a slightly paniced voice how to deal with some mail that's come in for him. I've explained them all to him, given him some idea of what they mean, what needs to be done and what else he needs to do to get himself situated for the long run. I think it's all slowly starting to make sense to him now.

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Update

Dan's Backyard: Dragon Scales
June 2005 Chapel Thrill, NC
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On the way home tonight I called Bonn to see if I needed to pick up anything for dinner.  I had expected her to be in a good mood from what I'd emailed her about my coversations with The Boy today.  Instead, he'd called her later in the afternoon, pulling the same old sh*t that he's pulled before. 

Instead of dipping his toes in the water, The Boy dove right in with a cannonball splash -- the kind intended to get everyone around him as wet as possible.

Bonn and Seren are going down sometime next week to straighten him out.  I'll stay here, take care of the cats and go to work as usual.

I'm angry, disappointed; I feel lied to and sucker punched.

After exercising in the sweltering NC humidity in a few minutes, I may feel better.  It's just that a follow-up entry is easier than responding in a very annoyed (at The Boy) tone to those of you who have already commented on the previous entry.

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On a completely separate note:  Happy Birthday, danedray!

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