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Self Portrait in Maggie's Eye


Over Easter weekend, 1997, the cat Bonn had brought home from where it had been abandoned weeks before, gave birth to five black cats. Those five cats became one of the focal points of our lives. They were our family, our feline children, our constant companions and the source of much joy, laughter, and love.

Maggie was the firstborn. Her statement, "I was here first; everything's mine" was taken as a simple truth by all of her siblings. She wasn't the Alpha of the pride, she was The Big Sister. If anyone was not feeling well -- feline or human -- she became Nursemaid Maggie and stayed with them until they were better.



Maggie


When The Boy was growing up, Maggie was his cat. Part of this bonding came about after The Boy broke his leg and the break took months to heal. Maggie started sleeping with The Boy, then started sleeping on top of The Boy's broken leg, trying to get it to heal.

When The Boy left for college, Maggie felt abandoned. She, like most of the cats, liked my warm lap and warm hands in the winter. Seeing an opportunity to lay an early-in-the-year claim, she started settling into my lap that summer so by the time the cold weather set in, everyone knew my lap was hers.

I started referring to her as My Lap Muse, even though it has been very difficult to get any writing/editing done with her in my lap. You see, when she's in my lap, at least one hand needs to be rubbing her belly with the other hand, preferably, petting her head.


Maggie


When her siblings began to go to The Crab Shack, it was a shock to us. Bonn and I had expected to have them all for years and years longer than we did. First Bear left, then Tony, then Tigger, then my beloved Ani.

Maggie, the first cat then became the last of the five cats.


Maggie


The thing is, Maggie chose me. I don't think I've ever been chosen like that before. I chose Ani (much to her annoyance) but Maggie chose me. It's been a very humbling experience, knowing that a cat wants to be with you, depends on you to make time for her and give her the time and love she wants from me.

And through that, I've come to depend on her. If I'm sitting at my computer for too long without her in my lap I start to notice something doesn't seem right. She usually sleeps next to me in bed, getting a last bit of belly rub time before I fall asleep. She's become my companion, the cat I depend on.


Maggie


Over the past months Maggie has been feeling her age. She's lost a lot of weight. The flea treatment we gave her a few months ago caused a bad reaction and we thought we were going to lose her then. She's been eating less and less, waiting (impatiently) for me to grill her chicken breasts for dinner.

Bonn has been saying for a long time that she thinks Maggie has been sticking around for me more than anything. Nursemaid Maggie is afraid to leave me alone.

Saturday night I finally told Maggie it was okay if she needed to leave. I will miss her terribly, but I understand that she misses her brothers and sister and she's ready to go to The Crab Shack. Sunday she slept most of the day, seemed to be in pain whenever I picked her up, and didn't want to eat any of the freshly grilled chicken I made for her. I was afraid she was taking me up on my statement before I could change my mind.

Bonn and I agreed it was time to start counting days -- good days versus bad days. Yesterday was clearly a bad day.

It turns out today has been a good day for her. She drank some water early in the morning and then ate some (leftover) chicken -- and has kept it down.

I don't know how much longer I have with Maggie, but I'm preparing myself for the worst. Unfortunately, that means hovering over her and trying to snuggle with her at every available moment. She's glared at me a few times lately, saying, "I'm not dead yet, you know" and kicked/gutted my hand away from her.

She continues to be full of surprises.


Maggie



...

Date: 2013-07-08 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myrhiann.livejournal.com
Enjoy her whilst you still have her. I'm glad that she is still having good days.

Date: 2013-07-09 02:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivecats.livejournal.com
I'm taking every good day as a gift.

Mind you, Maggie is still saying I'm being overbearing...

...

Date: 2013-07-08 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myrhiann.livejournal.com
BTW, lovely pics of her.

Date: 2013-07-09 02:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivecats.livejournal.com
Thanks. These are from years of photographs.

...

Date: 2013-07-08 09:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] examorata.livejournal.com
Sweet Maggie. Count and treasure the good days. It's so hard to let go, but you know she has her brothers and sisters to go run with. I wish you peaceful parting times with her.

Date: 2013-07-09 02:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivecats.livejournal.com
Believe me, today is a great gift -- one that I'm thankfully aware of. Bonn texted me this morning to say she'd eaten some chicken and I exclaimed, "Oh, thank God." (Leaving my co-werker in a state of confusion) Later tonight, just seeing her eat made my eyes misty.

She's ready to go see her brothers and sister at The Crab Shack. She's also not quite ready to leave me yet.

I'm not sure which makes me feel better.

...

Date: 2013-07-09 02:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] examorata.livejournal.com
Aww. I think there's a certain comfort in both.

Date: 2013-07-09 03:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivecats.livejournal.com
I think you're right.

...

Date: 2013-07-09 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amlaped.livejournal.com
Here's hoping for more good days.

I love that last photo on the page.

Date: 2013-07-09 04:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivecats.livejournal.com
She ate some more chicken this morning for us, so I'm remaining hopeful.

Maggie has always been very easy to photograph. (Although lately she's really annoyed by me sticking my iPhone in her face at night)

...

Date: 2013-07-11 12:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smileyfish.livejournal.com
*hugs* They never really leave us, these animals who choose us. They leave indelible prints on our lives.

Date: 2013-07-11 02:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivecats.livejournal.com
'Tis true.

My favorite bumper sticker is one from the local Humane Society that reads, "Who Saved Who?"

...

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